"We used to know each other when we were young..."
We used to know each other when we were young. That was what I initially thought of as I stared at the coffin which belongs to someone I once knew. The grave keepers mercilessly scooped the soil up and repeatedly trashed it onto the coffin which was lying five-feet below in the hole, covering it up with dirt. I shed sorrowful tears among the other prayers at the funeral. I wondered if I should be grateful for what had happened or not. It was back then when we were kids when I first saw her. It was like everything had just happened yesterday. I thought for a moment before reminiscing the past.
I never had real friends to begin with. When I tried to have faith in someone once, little did I realise that the one who I called a true friend betrayed me. By the time I knew that would happen, I overheard him talking behind my back to my one and only enemy as I passed by the school corridor. I never knew that he was such a hypocrite. At that moment, I did not know what to do but scratched his name of my friends list. I felt disgusted and angered consumed me. Never again will I trust anyone. That was what I thought before I met her.
Alanna was her name. She was a transfer student and was arranged to sit beside me of all places. Suddenly, I found myself wanting to be her friend as she looked so mysteriously quiet like me before. We became the best of friends when we started telling each other secrets. Sometimes, she even helped me with my homework and she would never laughed at my opinions or decisions that I make. We even continued to go to the same university after our high school graduation. I was happy to have a friend who is always there by my side to back me up and encourage me no matter how difficult the situation is. To me, even her jokes were the funniest yet she always deny that when I compliment her. When she remembered my birthday, I was over the moon. As my birthday was around the corner, I began noticing Alanna's odd behavior as if she was trying to avoid me. She never spoke to me in class or even told me in person what had happened. Then, I had a sudden feeling she would someday betray me. Unable to withstand the pain of repeating the past, I became furious even having the thought of that. I decided to act like we were total strangers like her current attitude towards me now.
However, on one fateful day, Alanna did not come to class. Thinking that she finally did not want to see me, I kept quiet about it and acted as if I never cared. During class I had a phone call but I quickly turned it off so that it would not disrupt the class attention. I found out later during break that I had 7 missed calls and a text message from Alanna saying, "Happy Birthday!". I felt oddly weird at that moment having the message being sent to me during class period, even after thinking that she never cared. Later, a classmate came to me and informed me that Alanna was admitted to the hospital. Shocked by the sentence, I hastily made my way towards the venue. However, I was too late. A doctor said that Alanna had been diagnosed with a cancer disease for the past several weeks. Her body was weak to begin with. Several weeks ago, I thought, hey, it was the same time when she started avoiding me! A nurse came by and gave me a world-renowned beautiful music box, saying that it was from Alanna who requested her to give this item to a friend who might be coming here, me. The moment I hold the box firmly in my hands, I felt something watery cascading ebbing away on my face. I regretted and said to myself, "I hate you... how stupid of me," for everything I had done for her. If only I had trusted her like a faithful friend.
The only thing I can do for her now is to pray for her peace in heaven. I turned back and walked away from her name, that was engraved on a tombstone as the wind breeze smashed into my face and the sound of the wind sang melancholy. As I stepped out of the holy sanctuary, I heard a familiar voice caressing my ears. I shivered with utmost fear but relieved as I heard the voice, " you're my best friend, forever...". As I gazed up into the sky, I saw Alanna's face reflected from the evening sun. It was blindingly bright. A smile that changed midnight to sunrise. By the time I regained consciousness, I was reminded that I had lost a precious friend due to my foolishness.
I never had real friends to begin with. When I tried to have faith in someone once, little did I realise that the one who I called a true friend betrayed me. By the time I knew that would happen, I overheard him talking behind my back to my one and only enemy as I passed by the school corridor. I never knew that he was such a hypocrite. At that moment, I did not know what to do but scratched his name of my friends list. I felt disgusted and angered consumed me. Never again will I trust anyone. That was what I thought before I met her.
Alanna was her name. She was a transfer student and was arranged to sit beside me of all places. Suddenly, I found myself wanting to be her friend as she looked so mysteriously quiet like me before. We became the best of friends when we started telling each other secrets. Sometimes, she even helped me with my homework and she would never laughed at my opinions or decisions that I make. We even continued to go to the same university after our high school graduation. I was happy to have a friend who is always there by my side to back me up and encourage me no matter how difficult the situation is. To me, even her jokes were the funniest yet she always deny that when I compliment her. When she remembered my birthday, I was over the moon. As my birthday was around the corner, I began noticing Alanna's odd behavior as if she was trying to avoid me. She never spoke to me in class or even told me in person what had happened. Then, I had a sudden feeling she would someday betray me. Unable to withstand the pain of repeating the past, I became furious even having the thought of that. I decided to act like we were total strangers like her current attitude towards me now.
However, on one fateful day, Alanna did not come to class. Thinking that she finally did not want to see me, I kept quiet about it and acted as if I never cared. During class I had a phone call but I quickly turned it off so that it would not disrupt the class attention. I found out later during break that I had 7 missed calls and a text message from Alanna saying, "Happy Birthday!". I felt oddly weird at that moment having the message being sent to me during class period, even after thinking that she never cared. Later, a classmate came to me and informed me that Alanna was admitted to the hospital. Shocked by the sentence, I hastily made my way towards the venue. However, I was too late. A doctor said that Alanna had been diagnosed with a cancer disease for the past several weeks. Her body was weak to begin with. Several weeks ago, I thought, hey, it was the same time when she started avoiding me! A nurse came by and gave me a world-renowned beautiful music box, saying that it was from Alanna who requested her to give this item to a friend who might be coming here, me. The moment I hold the box firmly in my hands, I felt something watery cascading ebbing away on my face. I regretted and said to myself, "I hate you... how stupid of me," for everything I had done for her. If only I had trusted her like a faithful friend.
The only thing I can do for her now is to pray for her peace in heaven. I turned back and walked away from her name, that was engraved on a tombstone as the wind breeze smashed into my face and the sound of the wind sang melancholy. As I stepped out of the holy sanctuary, I heard a familiar voice caressing my ears. I shivered with utmost fear but relieved as I heard the voice, " you're my best friend, forever...". As I gazed up into the sky, I saw Alanna's face reflected from the evening sun. It was blindingly bright. A smile that changed midnight to sunrise. By the time I regained consciousness, I was reminded that I had lost a precious friend due to my foolishness.
why must it be sooo depressing?
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